The Fault in the Universe
by rlb190
Summary: Seven years ago, a girl with an oxygen tank and cancer put up with me for a few minutes in mall. To date, my life has basically been ruined by kidney cancer. My name is Jo Lincoin, and sometimes I think the Universe just likes to mess with me. Now that I'm DYING, I think it's time for me to fight back. And this time, I'm kicking ass.
1. My Life So Far

Seven years ago, a girl with an oxygen tank wasn't annoyed enough with me to let me try it out in the middle of a mall. Seven years to now, I, Jo Lincoin am still kicking. Despite the fact that I've been diagnosed with some kind of fancy cancer that's basically ruined my life, I am still kicking ass.

Seven years ago that teenage girl had cancer, but she still took the time to amuse me while my mother did whatever god knows what. At the time, I didn't know. But thinking back on it, se kinda freaked me out with the whole oxygen tank thing.

"How are we doing today?" the doctor asked me.

"Fine." I muttered. My father was sitting in one of those annoying plastic chairs in the exam room. He looked up from his book and gave me an evil eye that screamed "Behave!"

"I am fully functioning to most levels of highest mangement, and I feel perhaps better then I have in weeks, thank you for asking." I ended with a smile and my father looked back down at his book.

"Good to hear. Now as you know, Jo, Renal Cell cancer-." I cut in.

"It's okay, you can say kidney cancer. I know what it means."

"Ah, kidney cancer." he looked at me, unsure. I nodded and gave him a little smile. He went on.

"Can be treated in a varity of diffrent ways. We realize you applied for a kidney transplant, and were on the waiting list." I nodded. My father (who is actually my stepfather) wasn't a match for me, and my mother already had donated a kidney when I was smaller. And thus, the waiting list of recive an organ appeared.

"We have yet to find a donor with a match for you. I'm sorry."

Ah, crap. I thought to myself. That was really the only part I was really paying attention to. The rest of the checkup passed in a blkur, as life normally did. My kidneys were absoulte crap pieces.

Sometimes I wonder if God did it to me on purpose. Sometimes I think that the entire world is just like The Sims to God, just so he can pull shit like this and dealing me out a bad pair of parts.

When I was seven years old, my eldest sister Gina died. I don't remember a lot of the funeral, except for the fact that everyone was crying. And you would have thought that it would have been raining like it would be in the movies, right? Like the entire freaking world would be crying for the loss of my sister?

HAHAHAHA- NOPE! That was the day the universe laughed in my face, and maybe punched it too. It was like a freaking postcard in the graveyard, full of people wearing black and mourning. The day I discovered I had cancer through a VERY interesting MRI scan was the day the universe punched my PARENTS in the face. They were freaking out at the fact that both of their daughters wouldn't survive untilk adulthood.

And honestly, I might not. I think I've pretty much come to terms with the whole 'I'm gonna die' thing.

My best friend in the entire world, Farkle, who has cancer in his freaking EARS once told me something about disconnecting himself to make sure when he dies that it will minimize grief when he dies, but I don't really think that way. In my case, I wsant my funeral to b3e happy. It's not the fact that I died, it's the fact that my folks were freaking lucky enough to have a kid as awesome as me touch their lives for a few years.

So what does Farkle know? Though I feel bad for him, but not in the cancer way. Like the life way. He's gay, and only myself and his boyfriend know about it. His parents are straight up read from the bible and hit your kids in the face kinda people. So are my parents, but I'm sure that if I was gay they'd be cool with it.

Cancer Perk No.1

Plus, his boyfriend's parens are like tha too, so all they can do is makeout in my basement while their parents and my parents have a bible study night.

I don't really mind, but sometimes it sucks being the third wheel. It just really shines a light on how NOT socially accepted I am.

So go ahead, universe. Laugh it up.

But when I die, I'm warning you.

I'm not going without punching YOU in the face.

You asshole.


	2. Kanoodling in the Basement

My first thought?

"What the hell?"

My second thought?

"Shit!"

The words barely escaped my mouth as I covered my eyes quickly. I stood frozen in the doorway, blushing like an insane maniac.

Even though I couldn't ssee, I could tell Farkle was blushing. "Sorry Jo! I mean, really we had no idea-."

"That what?! I wouldn't go into my own frickin basement? God, leave a little warning next time, like your tie on the door or something!" I exclaimed. Farkle's boyfriend Adam spoke up.

"I'm really sorry Jo, we just forgot to tell you.' I groned. "Put you shirt back on, Adam. And keep it on. An Farkle, I would invest in a tutle neck if I were you. Hickeys are not that easy to hide."

There were rustling sounds in the roo as the boys put their assorted clothes back on.

"Okay, so I know that I let you guys use my basment to kanoodle and stuff, but give me a heads up so I don't walkin on you guys!" I complained.

"We're decent." Farkle said. I took my hand off my eyes and sighed as I saw the two booys, who looked just as embarssed as me.

"How did you even get in here?" I asked Farkle. He shrugged. "Your mom let us in. Said that you were at doctor thing."

"How'd it go, by the way?" Adam asked. He was a sweet boy who went to local highschool with Farkle (alas, not me. Cancer Perk No.2) He seemed nice enough, but most of the time he was always kissing Farkle when I was around.

"Not so good. They can't find a match for me." Farkled sighed sadly. "I'm sorry, Jo." Adam looked a little downcast as well, and I realized that talking about me dying wasn't exactly the best way to have date night.

' Ah, they'l find one soon. Anyways, you guys can keep... doing whatever. I'm just gonna watch a movie or something. Um, call me if you need me." I waved to them as I shut the door to the guest room in the basement. We kept a TV in the basement along with a guest room.

I looked through the movie rack as I thought about Farkle.

I've known him since we were in diapers, and when he got cancer, I got cancer at the same time. Same hospital, same support groups, same whatever. Honestly, I've always known he was gay. I mean, my gaydar was going off the roof whenever I saw him. When he came out to me, I said something really stupud that I guess made him feel better. "Now we can talk about boys together!"

We've been friends for a really long time, and when he developed a crush on Adam, the other kid whose parents were in the bible study group, he asked me if I thought Adam was gay or not. I said yes, and he asked Adam out.

And they've been kanoodling in my basement ever since on Tuesdays, Thurdays, and Sundays fom 8pm to 9pm, and also sometimes when they can't stand to be apart.

Of course, it's so not enough time. But since Farkle is too sick to go to school, they hardly ever can get together. See, Farkle is going through this thing where he's slowly loosing his hearing. Adam and Farkle are both trying to learn sign langauge so when it eventuall happens, they'll be able to still kanoodle in my basement.

I feel kinda bad for him. His parents are homophobes, he's loosing his hearing, and the only time he can see his boyfriend is in my basement.

So yes, the universe has also punched him in the face.

Several times.

I finally picked out a disk of old episodes from a 70's sitcom and watched a few epsiodes, turning up the volume so I could hear the fake laughter from a studio auidence whenever I heard laughter from the real people in the basement.

I mean, it's not like I'm jealous that my deafing friend can get a boyfriend and I can't, right?

Ha-ha, I'm totally kidding, of course I'mn jealous.

But who on earth would want to be with me? After all, I might any dcay now. Who wants to go out on a first date with a girl and watch her die the next day?

Not any boy on this earth.

It was getting dark outside when my phone rang. I looked at the caller ID before clicking the Accept button.

"Hey Mrs. M." I said casually.

"Hello Jo, how are you feeling?"

She always asked me this question.

"I'm fine, thank you for asking. What's up?"

"Have you seen Farkle around?" His mother asked me.

"Um, yes. He's over here right now. We're just watching a few movies. He didn't reply to your call because he was in the bathroom."

"Ah, I see. Having fun?"

I rolled my eyes as I stood up and knocked lightly on the guest room door. "Isn't it always with Farkle around?"

She chuckled. "You're right. Well, can you send him home right away? He's late for dinner."

"But of course. Here he comes now. Later Mrs. M."

"Goodbye Jo."

Farkle opened the door. "We were watching movies, you went to the bathrrom and missed your mother's call, and you ended up being late for dinner." I told him. He frowned. "Crap. Okay, I'm leaving."

I watched as he kissed Adam goodbye and headed up the stairs to the back door. "Thanks for letting us kanoodle, Jo." I smiled. "No problem. You let me pick the movies today, remember?"

He nodded. "Ah, yes. The James Bond marathon was quite entertaining if I do say so myself."

"Skyfall is a quality movie and you know it! Get your butt out of here."

"Bye, Jo." he chuckled and headed out the door. His house was only a few blocks from mine, so he walked most of the time.

Adam came out of the guest room a few minutes later.

"I guess I should go as well." I shrugged. "You're welcome to stay, but it's a school night idn't it?" He nodded. "Yeah."

There was a few minutes of awkward silence between us.

"Um, I'll just go now." he said as he walked up the stairs. I was standing at the base of them. "Uh, sure. Yeah. Um, bye." He awkwardly let himself out. As soon as the door shut and clicked into place, I groaned.

My best friend's boyfriend Iand I didn't know one another that well. But then again, What else was new?


End file.
